I’ve left Beatnicltd for another, less conspicuous diary. Still, this holds over a year and a half of my life, so I’m not exactly going to let it die. From how much I fucking hate pep week, to my rambling half-assed teenage philosophies, to the hundreds of entries that were really boring and not about anything. From Julianne to Jon 2 to Alex, people have come in and out of my life in this two year period, and a lot of weird “coming of age” stuff has changed the relationships between my friends. I have been a drunk, a depressed suicidal mess, and always a loser. From my first experience with drugs, to my first female kiss, to my first male kiss - it’s all here in the archives. Now, to commemorate what I’d like to call the end of an era, although it’s really just the continuation of the same old era at another diary, I have compiled a list of my favorite, or at least most entertaining entries. Everything else is crap, and I suggest you don’t read it.

Pep Week: The Ultimate Sin - My first entry. My writing was even worse than it is now, and I sound like the fourteen year old geeky freshman that I was, but just for the record - pep week does suck.

The Man in the Ceiling, the Queen of Forever-land, and Piles of Cow Shit: An Essay - I like essays. I also seem to like comparing myself to Holden Caulfield, as you will learn in this essay.

For Every Action There is a Reaction (...and STAR WARS!) - My first cigarette, my first midnight movie. Memories, my friend, memories.

The Odyssey - Going to the school lawn social drunk, and comparing my life to that of Odysseus.

I've Been Away For A Long Time - Somewhere in between realizing I had developed a problem with alcohol, puking alongside my town’s major road, and picking up my drunken cousin who ruined a convention for transgendered children that was held at my second home, I thought “Hey, why not write about this?”

69 - Detailing how I walked into a police stakeout operation and was mistaken for a vandalizing car thief for about an hour before the rest of my summer was destroyed.

Pilot In A Box - Another essay, this one, oddly enough, about a pilot in a box. Essays rock.

Four Days Part I - Why I stopped drinking.

Happiness - This is where the Carrie Moore song lives. Also, a review of the movie “Happiness”.

Fraggle Rock Said It Best - The only dance, school or otherwise, I ever enjoyed myself at. Obsessing over a guy in a boy scout uniform while on a date with your girlfriend is odd.

You Opened The Wrong Cocoon! - This is so much better than all the other entries I’m including in the list...I feel like deleting the rest just so this one gets your attention. This is about the only time I wrote about religion that I didn’t have to cringe while rereading it.

Sub Pervert - Another outright kick ass entry. If I wasn’t doing this in order, I’d put this at the top of the list. Go laugh at the picture!

Dream Log - Read my dream.

AmmuNation - This is another huge favorite, probably only second to “You Opened the Wrong Cocoon”. Once again, most of this is crap, but my rant inspired by “Bowling for Columbine” is better than my usual writing.

Marijuana - It’s More Dangerous Than We Ever Thought...Under Curtain Circumstances That Are Exploited and Skewed For Anti-Drug Ads - An essay-like rant on anti-drug ads. Up there with the best entries, although they actually produced an ad similar to the perfect one I described since I wrote it.

God Is Real - This is probably as funny as I’m ever going to get. Quite a long transcript of an instant message conversation, but it’s worth the read.

If you're feeling sinister - I am a bear. I will fucking kill you!

There Goes My Gun - The countdown to war had begun, as I learned by seeing it smeared across every channel on the fucking television.

it’s my party - March 27th, 2003 was a horrible, horrible day. It also ushered in the most depressing few months of my life.

Falling Chandeliers - Trips to Buffalo with your French class are fun.

entirely wrong - pseudo-intellectual bullshit.

Hold My Bones - Hilarious and awful at the same time...when my parents left me home alone for the weekend for the first time ever, I ended up cleaning vomit off of the trampoline.

Ourobouros - People watching in the lines for roller coasters.

Letter to Alex - A long letter I wrote to my then-boyfriend.

Ready, Okay! - My quasi-review of the novel that you should go buy immediately.

Tom the Cat - Tom the Cat lives here.

Pigeon in the Alley - Not exactly a favorite, but one of those weird things that happens and you have to deal with.

If that list struck you as totally narcissistic - you’re right. I can’t help it. Thanks for putting up with it.

- the author of this diary